My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
