tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
They have beer where we have blood.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
