Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
this just has baby written all over it
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
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Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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