As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
