It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
