If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
