I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
