we have officially mastered the walk of shame
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
