im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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