you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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