pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
