that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
