Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
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I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?