just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
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I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
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We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off