Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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