So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.