doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
