It's a beautiful day for a hangover
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
