i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
