I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
