You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Randomize
