i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
