How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
