I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
