garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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