I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
