Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You pole danced in your parka.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
