He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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