i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
