normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
third nipple confirmed
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
