1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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