Whats the glycemic index on semen?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
