I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize