im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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