I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I think i peed on brittanys purse
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
