If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
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I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
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I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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