you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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