cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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