is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize
