My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
