I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
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