ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
