i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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