i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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