it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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