We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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