girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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