Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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