are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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