I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
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It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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