Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
