So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
