I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
