I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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