I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
what day is it and did you see me today?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
