I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
