I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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