Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
