just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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