I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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